What Are You Going To Do Today Ask yourself the folowing questions
Is it fun, will it make you happy?
Will it make you feel better?
(Will it make you feel worse)?
Is it necessary?
Do you really want to?
Can you get someone else to do it?
Will it be hard for you but will you feel better after?
Will you feel like you have achieved something?
Does it matter if you don't "achieve" anything- in this life- on this day
is it enough to BE
yo love to be kind to anyone you meet
to care for and about others
to allow others to care for you
to laugh and be happy
to have fun every day
Showing posts with label talking to others. Show all posts
Showing posts with label talking to others. Show all posts
Monday, 8 June 2009
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
Wise Words- Notes to Self
I keep some notes to remind me not to be too hard on other people when they appear sometimes to be insensitive. I keep them as notes on my mobile phone so I remember to have a quick look if I am a bit down or getting cross with people.
When people say "you look good/well" it is becasue they want you to be better and it is kindly mean't.
You make a lot of effort to look good so take it as a compliment.
Phillipa Jones- Arthritis Care Trainer
If I was being kind to myself what would I be doing right now? What do I really need? Don't forget tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique)
I love you but I have to take care of me so I can have energy to take care of you
Other people have wants, but you have needs
Joyce Spence- my very good friend
Every day do something just to make yourself happy you have to have fun in your life
CBT counsellor
You always had it in you, you always had the power
The Wizard of Oz
Joyce Spence- my very good friend
When people say "you look good/well" it is becasue they want you to be better and it is kindly mean't.
You make a lot of effort to look good so take it as a compliment.
Phillipa Jones- Arthritis Care Trainer
If I was being kind to myself what would I be doing right now? What do I really need? Don't forget tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique)
I love you but I have to take care of me so I can have energy to take care of you
Other people have wants, but you have needs
Joyce Spence- my very good friend
Every day do something just to make yourself happy you have to have fun in your life
CBT counsellor
You always had it in you, you always had the power
The Wizard of Oz
Joyce Spence- my very good friend
Sunday, 24 May 2009
What I Know Now Because of Fibromyalgia
How much I am loved
It's OK to say no
There is value in looking on listening not always being in the thick of it.
There is pleasure to be has in being quiet not always being the one to entertain.
I enjoy time on my own quiet time.
Life can be good and enjoyable despite illness you can be happy.
It's OK to put yourself first.#If you want or need something you need to ask - people are not mind-readers.
I do more now because of my illness - I don't want to waste the good days.
When you go slower you notice different things to people who are rushing around- litle snails in the road, knots on trees, flowers that are slightly hidden from view- unless you are going slow.
It's OK to say no
There is value in looking on listening not always being in the thick of it.
There is pleasure to be has in being quiet not always being the one to entertain.
I enjoy time on my own quiet time.
Life can be good and enjoyable despite illness you can be happy.
It's OK to put yourself first.#If you want or need something you need to ask - people are not mind-readers.
I do more now because of my illness - I don't want to waste the good days.
When you go slower you notice different things to people who are rushing around- litle snails in the road, knots on trees, flowers that are slightly hidden from view- unless you are going slow.
Sunday, 26 April 2009
Blah Days
Today has been a bit of a blah day. Can't really explain why, woke up after really strange dream so was glad to wake up. It was a beautiful sunny day but just couldn't motivate myself to do anything. Sat in garden then summer house but just couldn't get comfortable felt vaguely uneasy all day and just blah.
Wanted to go out but just couldn't be bothered my DD went out and asked if I wanted anything and I asked her to bring me back the world.
She brought me back drumstick lollies as she said I was off to New York to play the drums- just go with this one, a hippo sweei because I had been on a safari, rainbow drops as I had been to the end of the rainbow. a girls magasine called bliss bcause that was how I would feel abd then a fab lolly because I am just fabulous- well you can imagine the tears were flowing from this and it was time to shake off this blah day. We read out silly things from the teen mag and I feel better now but glad this day is over.
How best to deal with one- go with it, maybe have bath and cry, do something nice for yourself, talk to yourself this day will pass and you have coped before and you will cope again. goodnight
Wanted to go out but just couldn't be bothered my DD went out and asked if I wanted anything and I asked her to bring me back the world.
She brought me back drumstick lollies as she said I was off to New York to play the drums- just go with this one, a hippo sweei because I had been on a safari, rainbow drops as I had been to the end of the rainbow. a girls magasine called bliss bcause that was how I would feel abd then a fab lolly because I am just fabulous- well you can imagine the tears were flowing from this and it was time to shake off this blah day. We read out silly things from the teen mag and I feel better now but glad this day is over.
How best to deal with one- go with it, maybe have bath and cry, do something nice for yourself, talk to yourself this day will pass and you have coped before and you will cope again. goodnight
Monday, 20 April 2009
Talking to Medics 3 -It's All In Your Head Innit
It was with some trepidation that I attended a meeting with a new pain consultant now at St Thomas'. Arrived half hour early which was a blessing as I was confronted with an 8 page form to fill out with medical history how do you feel today how did you get it all that kind of stuff.
Luckily I had my trusty notebook as well as a printed medical history form- prepared by me- as well as a medical history report I had asked for from my GP.
It is so dperessing filling out these forms there is a picture of a body and you have to show where it hurts where it hurts the most, what makes it worse, what makes it better that kind of thing.
Wsn't it good I was early receptioinst said it should have benn sent to me and Iwasn't allowed to go in until I had filled it in. Consultants are Gods you know.
Well I did feel a bit low having written all this depressing stuff cos normally I keep my pain somewhere over my right shoulder so all this writng about it flooded it back into me poor body so was feeling bit tearful and then was called ito yer man.
To say that we didn't take to each other was an understatement he started asking me about acupan- which I don't take anymore- he was looking it up in a medical dictionary. When I tried to tell him about it he did the classic talk to the hand thing that I would bash my kids for if they did it to me and said"I can't listen and read". Why ask a question then??
He then started asking me what I knew about fibro and what trauma had I had in the past that might have caused it because it must have benn something because it is pyschosomatic you know. (Insert Scream Here)
Well feelin fragile I started to cry and he said I will stop asking questions but the psychologists on the course won't. He also claimed he had never heard of Prof Davies why was he doing fivbromyalgia when he was a sports specialist- what people with fibro would be doing sports??
I wonder does Prof Davies know he is referring his patients to a fellow specialist who doesn't think much of him and also thinks that fibro will go away if you get rid of all your demons from the past.
Thankfully he informed me he is not part of the team running the course as frankly I would not go on it in a million years if I thought he was.
Now what to do about this should I complain about him, talk to fibro support group at hospital or maybe my arthritis group of ladies or maybe everyone. Have been left pretty shaken by this and had to have a good cry when I came out which was bit odd for the poor lady taking pictures from the top of a London Sightseeing Bus.
At least it has left me in the right frame of mind to tackle the disability form. Have another meeting about the course next Friday which incidentally is four weeks and not the two weeks i was told it was by the fibro consultant.
Luckily I had my trusty notebook as well as a printed medical history form- prepared by me- as well as a medical history report I had asked for from my GP.
It is so dperessing filling out these forms there is a picture of a body and you have to show where it hurts where it hurts the most, what makes it worse, what makes it better that kind of thing.
Wsn't it good I was early receptioinst said it should have benn sent to me and Iwasn't allowed to go in until I had filled it in. Consultants are Gods you know.
Well I did feel a bit low having written all this depressing stuff cos normally I keep my pain somewhere over my right shoulder so all this writng about it flooded it back into me poor body so was feeling bit tearful and then was called ito yer man.
To say that we didn't take to each other was an understatement he started asking me about acupan- which I don't take anymore- he was looking it up in a medical dictionary. When I tried to tell him about it he did the classic talk to the hand thing that I would bash my kids for if they did it to me and said"I can't listen and read". Why ask a question then??
He then started asking me what I knew about fibro and what trauma had I had in the past that might have caused it because it must have benn something because it is pyschosomatic you know. (Insert Scream Here)
Well feelin fragile I started to cry and he said I will stop asking questions but the psychologists on the course won't. He also claimed he had never heard of Prof Davies why was he doing fivbromyalgia when he was a sports specialist- what people with fibro would be doing sports??
I wonder does Prof Davies know he is referring his patients to a fellow specialist who doesn't think much of him and also thinks that fibro will go away if you get rid of all your demons from the past.
Thankfully he informed me he is not part of the team running the course as frankly I would not go on it in a million years if I thought he was.
Now what to do about this should I complain about him, talk to fibro support group at hospital or maybe my arthritis group of ladies or maybe everyone. Have been left pretty shaken by this and had to have a good cry when I came out which was bit odd for the poor lady taking pictures from the top of a London Sightseeing Bus.
At least it has left me in the right frame of mind to tackle the disability form. Have another meeting about the course next Friday which incidentally is four weeks and not the two weeks i was told it was by the fibro consultant.
Friday, 3 April 2009
Letter To Normals -I'm not sure about it?
When I was first diagnosed with fibro I think I quite liked this letter.
I wanted to make the world and everyone I met understand what it was like for me, how much I was suffering, how bad I felt. But now I think I don't really care what others think other than those that are close to me.
If friends are lost then how good a friend were they in the first place?
If people think I look good or I am getting better then does it really matter?
Those close to you want you to be well and happy does it help in any way if they truly know what your life is like?
I don't like to talk to about myself as someone who is suffering who has demons I don't think of it as helpful self talk.
I think I prefer the spoon story but I reproduce it here for you to decide for yourself, some of it is good but I don't know what do you think?
Maybe the thing is to use it to start one of your own.
The Letter To Normals
Hello Family, Friends, and Anyone Wishing to Know Me,
Allow me to begin by thanking you for taking the time out of your day to spend some time with me and get to know me better. A person’s time is their most valuable asset and yours is appreciated.
I want to talk to you about Fibromyalgia (FM) and Chronic Myofascial Pain Syndrome (MPS). Many have never heard of these conditions and for those who have, many are misinformed.
And because of this judgments are made that may not be correct… So I ask you to keep an open mind as I try to explain who I am and how FM/MPS has assaulted not only my life but those whom I love as well.
You see, I suffer from a disease that you cannot see; a disease that there is no cure for and that keeps the medical community baffled at how to treat and battle this demon, who’s attacks are relentless.
My pain works silently, stealing my joy and replacing it with tears.
On the outside we look alike you and I; you wont see my scars as you would a person who, say, had suffered a car accident. You wont see my pain in the way you would a person undergoing chemo for cancer; however, my pain is just as real and just as debilitating.
And in many ways my pain may be more destructive because people can’t see it and do not understand.... Please don’t get angry at my seemingly lack of interest in doing things; I punish myself enough I assure you.
My tears are shed many times when no one is around. My embarrassment is covered by a joke or laughter, but inside I want to die....
Most of my "friends" are gone; even members of my own family have abandoned me. I have been accused of "playing games" for another’s sympathy.
I have been called unreliable because I am forced to cancel plans I made at the last minute because the burning and pain in my legs or arms is so intense I cannot put my clothes on and I am left in my tears as I miss out on yet another activity I used to love and once participated in with enthusiasm.
I feel like a child at times... Just the other day I put the sour cream I bought at the store in the pantry, on the shelf, instead of in the refrigerator; by the time I noticed it, it had spoiled.
When I talk to people, many times I lose my train of thought in mid sentence or forget the simplest word needed to explain or describe something.
Please try to understand how it feels to have another go behind me in my home to make sure the stove is off after I cook an occasional meal.
Please try to understand how it feels to “lose” the laundry, only to find it in the stove instead of the dryer. As I try to maintain my dignity the Demon assaults me at every turn.
Please try to understand…. Sleep, when I do get some, is restless and I wake often because of the pain the sheets have on my legs or because I twitch uncontrollably.
I walk through many of my days in a daze with the Fibro-fog laughing at me as I stumble and grasp for clarity.
And just because I can do a thing one day, that doesn’t mean I will be able to do the same thing the next day or next week.
I may be able to take that walk after dinner on a warm July evening; the next day or even the in the next hour I may not be able to walk to the fridge to get a cold drink because my muscles have begun to cramp and lock up or spasm uncontrollably.
And there are those who say “but you did that yesterday!” “What is your problem today?”
The hurt I experience at those words scars me so deeply that I have let my family down again; and still they don’t understand….
On a brighter side I want you to know that I still have my sense of humor. If you take the time to spend with me you will see that. I love to tell that joke to make another’s face light up and smile at my wit.
I love my kids and grandbabies and shine when they give me my hugs or ask me to fix their favorite toy. I am fun to be with if you will spend the time with me on my own playing field; is this too much to ask?
I love you and want nothing more than to be a part of your life. And I have found that I can be a strong friend in many ways.
Do you have a dream? I am your friend, your supporter and many times I will be the one to do the research for your latest project; many times I will be your biggest fan and the world will know how proud I am at your accomplishments and how honored I am to have you in my life.
So you see, you and I are not that much different.
I too have hopes, dreams, goals… and this demon….
Do you have an unseen demon that assaults you and no one else can see? Have you had to fight a fight that crushes you and brings you to your knees?
I will be by your side, win or lose, I promise you that; I will be there in ways that I can. I will give all I can as I can, I promise you that.
But I have to do this thing my way. Please understand that I am in such a fight myself and I know that I have little hope of a cure or effective treatments, at least right now.
Please understand…. Thank you for spending your time with me today. I hope we can work through this thing, you and I.
Please understand that I am just like you… Please understand….
Copyright of www.fibrohugs.com Written by Ronald J. Waller
I wanted to make the world and everyone I met understand what it was like for me, how much I was suffering, how bad I felt. But now I think I don't really care what others think other than those that are close to me.
If friends are lost then how good a friend were they in the first place?
If people think I look good or I am getting better then does it really matter?
Those close to you want you to be well and happy does it help in any way if they truly know what your life is like?
I don't like to talk to about myself as someone who is suffering who has demons I don't think of it as helpful self talk.
I think I prefer the spoon story but I reproduce it here for you to decide for yourself, some of it is good but I don't know what do you think?
Maybe the thing is to use it to start one of your own.
The Letter To Normals
Hello Family, Friends, and Anyone Wishing to Know Me,
Allow me to begin by thanking you for taking the time out of your day to spend some time with me and get to know me better. A person’s time is their most valuable asset and yours is appreciated.
I want to talk to you about Fibromyalgia (FM) and Chronic Myofascial Pain Syndrome (MPS). Many have never heard of these conditions and for those who have, many are misinformed.
And because of this judgments are made that may not be correct… So I ask you to keep an open mind as I try to explain who I am and how FM/MPS has assaulted not only my life but those whom I love as well.
You see, I suffer from a disease that you cannot see; a disease that there is no cure for and that keeps the medical community baffled at how to treat and battle this demon, who’s attacks are relentless.
My pain works silently, stealing my joy and replacing it with tears.
On the outside we look alike you and I; you wont see my scars as you would a person who, say, had suffered a car accident. You wont see my pain in the way you would a person undergoing chemo for cancer; however, my pain is just as real and just as debilitating.
And in many ways my pain may be more destructive because people can’t see it and do not understand.... Please don’t get angry at my seemingly lack of interest in doing things; I punish myself enough I assure you.
My tears are shed many times when no one is around. My embarrassment is covered by a joke or laughter, but inside I want to die....
Most of my "friends" are gone; even members of my own family have abandoned me. I have been accused of "playing games" for another’s sympathy.
I have been called unreliable because I am forced to cancel plans I made at the last minute because the burning and pain in my legs or arms is so intense I cannot put my clothes on and I am left in my tears as I miss out on yet another activity I used to love and once participated in with enthusiasm.
I feel like a child at times... Just the other day I put the sour cream I bought at the store in the pantry, on the shelf, instead of in the refrigerator; by the time I noticed it, it had spoiled.
When I talk to people, many times I lose my train of thought in mid sentence or forget the simplest word needed to explain or describe something.
Please try to understand how it feels to have another go behind me in my home to make sure the stove is off after I cook an occasional meal.
Please try to understand how it feels to “lose” the laundry, only to find it in the stove instead of the dryer. As I try to maintain my dignity the Demon assaults me at every turn.
Please try to understand…. Sleep, when I do get some, is restless and I wake often because of the pain the sheets have on my legs or because I twitch uncontrollably.
I walk through many of my days in a daze with the Fibro-fog laughing at me as I stumble and grasp for clarity.
And just because I can do a thing one day, that doesn’t mean I will be able to do the same thing the next day or next week.
I may be able to take that walk after dinner on a warm July evening; the next day or even the in the next hour I may not be able to walk to the fridge to get a cold drink because my muscles have begun to cramp and lock up or spasm uncontrollably.
And there are those who say “but you did that yesterday!” “What is your problem today?”
The hurt I experience at those words scars me so deeply that I have let my family down again; and still they don’t understand….
On a brighter side I want you to know that I still have my sense of humor. If you take the time to spend with me you will see that. I love to tell that joke to make another’s face light up and smile at my wit.
I love my kids and grandbabies and shine when they give me my hugs or ask me to fix their favorite toy. I am fun to be with if you will spend the time with me on my own playing field; is this too much to ask?
I love you and want nothing more than to be a part of your life. And I have found that I can be a strong friend in many ways.
Do you have a dream? I am your friend, your supporter and many times I will be the one to do the research for your latest project; many times I will be your biggest fan and the world will know how proud I am at your accomplishments and how honored I am to have you in my life.
So you see, you and I are not that much different.
I too have hopes, dreams, goals… and this demon….
Do you have an unseen demon that assaults you and no one else can see? Have you had to fight a fight that crushes you and brings you to your knees?
I will be by your side, win or lose, I promise you that; I will be there in ways that I can. I will give all I can as I can, I promise you that.
But I have to do this thing my way. Please understand that I am in such a fight myself and I know that I have little hope of a cure or effective treatments, at least right now.
Please understand…. Thank you for spending your time with me today. I hope we can work through this thing, you and I.
Please understand that I am just like you… Please understand….
Copyright of www.fibrohugs.com Written by Ronald J. Waller
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
