CFIDS August topic- my response

I think I did have a major problem with this when I was younger always wanting to be the best, to do everything well and perfectly.

I believe it was mostly from coming from such a huge family I was always looking for ways to stand out to get noticed and this carried on into my work life and own family life wanting to be praised- usually more than once for my efforts.

Now the difficulty is doing much at all that can get noticed, I have had counselling and am aware of my need that I honestly think no-one can in reality fill except me.

So I am no longer working so that stressor has now gone and I set my own targets and am happy if I can fulfill them in any way and do not stress if I don't. That is I set targets that I can acheive and then I am happy.

My husband is aware of my need for praise and if he ever sends me a text saying well done like he did when I bought and furnished our house in Turkey- I keep it so that I get look at it more than once and get my praise fix that way.

love and hugs

Linda

CFIDS Monthly Topic- Unhealthy Perfectionism

There is a lot of pressure in our society to excel. It can start withgetting top grades in school or even earlier with parental expectations thattheir baby start walking and talking before others the same age. Soon weprogram ourselves that we should always do "the very best job we can." In this pursuit of perfection, we can wind up putting achievement before ourown welfare. Athletes are lauded for continuing in a competition even wheninjured, and employees are encouraged to do more and work longer hours.When you really stop to think about it, "just do your best" is a draconianmandate.Our topic this month will be recognizing and combating perfectionism. Onereason many of us fell into a push/crash cycle was because we let the"shoulds" drive us. We pushed ourselves unmercifully to accomplish tasks aswe thought they should be done, putting the task ahead of our own health.

So our topic this month is recognizing our unhealthy perfectionism when we are tempted to push ourselves too hard, and discussing alternate strategies.

New Symptoms -go to doctor

I think I wished it on myself but with all this talk about swine flu I stupidly said I never get colds and I never get headaches. Famous last words.

Last week I started sneezing had a bit of a tickle but no temperature so not swine flu. Not helped by my friend following me round the shop saying swine flu every time I sneezed- I was sure someone was going to bash me for daring to come out with sneezing.

Have become obseessed with washing my hands each time I blow my nose not always convenient and then found myself with a headache for the last few days and a hoorible taste smell up my nose and in my mouth. Was convinced I had bad breath but was assured that I didn't.

Decided to go to doctor as maybe you are someone that gets headaches with fibro - in which case - I am sorry that you do- but I don't so it is an unusual symptom for me.

Felt a bit of a fraud in surgery with just a headache and a bad smell but was told that I had sinusitis so was very glad that I went.

It's just a lesson to learn to always go with new symptoms as now I will get some relief and wished I had gone earlier.

CFIDS Monthly topic- Resting at Work

I am not working now but when I was I had a camping lounger that I used to rest at lunchtime and plugged in my trusty ipod to listen to meditation or sometimes EFT for resting and energy.Unfortunately I was made to take this home by a new manager.I had however also had an ergonomic assessment done of my desk and workplace and had a really comfy chair that gave support to my neck and footstools to minimize pain in legs.Also we should remember that there are laws in place - I know not always adhered to- that adjustments should be made to accommodate disabilities at work.It took me a long time to admit that FM is a disability and ask for help for rest times during the day, late starts or whatever will help you.I have just been to a restaurant with my family and take a tempur cushion with me to minimize discomfort- if you can do that you can stay longer I think.If I am not am home and need a rest I am no longer afraid to say I need to rest for a while am off for a nap lie down see you later.not posted for a while as have been at our house in Turkey I am so proud of myself for buying this without my husband and he is delighted with it.I have also told anyone that wants to visit they are all welcome but I am not going to look after anyone. I also have made a self contained area in this house with own bathroom sitting room and food available so I can really rest if I need to.My health was much improved in Turkey less stress, swimming each day and warm sunshinekind regardsLinda